I’m not entirely sure that you can tell much from the photograph in this quick post from my cell phone, but it tells me a lot. It tells me that I accomplished something.
It’s an amazing feeling, really. You see, while clearing away the new snow from the manure pit area, I managed to get the tractor stuck *in* said snow.
Normally, I would try to gun it out, and if that failed, I would save myself the frustration (and the diesel fuel) and just leave it until someone could come pull it out with a chain later in the day.
Or, if my husband were home, I would go and find him and ask for his help. (Usually by this point, I am either feeling very frustrated, or sheepish, or both.)
Well. He was not home. I would have felt bad leaving it to be pulled out – AGAIN – until the owner was home. So, I started fiddling around with the hydralic bucket. I’ve done that before, to no avail.
I would say that today I just had more grit (which may be true), but in reality, what I had a lot more of was grace. It took some determination, and many failed attempts, but… I got it out.
*I* got it out.
It reminds me of the sense of accomplishment I felt after spending a profuse amount of time trying to back up a trailer with the Ford tractor during my apprenticeship at the Ranch. In that instance, there was a random and very patient old man who was able to assist me in my learning process. There were also several landscaping volunteers who stood by in recognition of the fact that this was something I had to do. I commend them all.
This time, there was no audience… and somehow, that almost made it better. I am far more apt to lose my temper and become rather frustrated, when there’s no audience.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” – Proverbs 16:32
That is a verse that I often need to be reminded of, and one that I don’t often feel encouraged by, since I often feel like I’m failing miserably at it.
Most of all what I need to take away from this victory is a gratitude for the opportunity to turn a potential frustration into a time of growth. May God grant me the grace to continue to do so in the future.